


Jadzia

by StarTravel



Series: Defiance Through Tenderness [31]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Friendship, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 11:19:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17682458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTravel/pseuds/StarTravel
Summary: Memories of a dear friend follow both Julian and Garak as they mourn Deep Space 9’s most recent loss.





	Jadzia

Julian raises an eyebrow when Jadzia catches his arm with her free one, the other holding an oversized bag. She walks him over to one of the holoprograms before she finally lets go, squeezing his arm and glancing at the door with a raised eyebrow. Julian grins before he can stop himself, though he does tilt his head to the right and raise an eyebrow at her before he can stop himself. The timing _is_ suspicious. “Jadzia, if this is you paying me back for making me go to dinner with you and Lenara -”

 “It’s not, you’re not the only one who can ask Felix to send you something fun. It didn’t feel right, you having so many holoprograms with Miles and me having some with Kira but us not having any together.” Jadzia points out with a shake of her head, smile practically radiating glee as she meets his gaze. There’s a spark to her eyes that he’s never been able to say no to, even long after his crush has faded to dear friendship.

 “You do have a much better imagination than Miles.” Julian answers her with a hint of laughter that Jadzia soon joins in on, the sound ringing down the hallway and likely spilling into Quark’s. The one time they took Miles to Jadzia’s King Arthur holoprogram had been nearly as much of a disaster as when she took Kira. “So what do you have in store for us? A Trillian spa? An expedition into unknown lands? Maybe a journey through one of your favorite novels?”

 Jadzia grins as she presses a few buttons on the door, shaking her head back and forth. When she glances back at him, her gaze is downright mischievous, smile wide and the skin around her face crinkling. “One of yours I think, actually, with a few modifications.”

 “A James Bond program?” Julian’s voice fills with delight as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet in excitement. He’s been trying to get someone else - well someone besides Garak - to do that program with him for _ages._ “Jadzia, if I’d known, I would’ve stitched up that unsightly tear in my tuxedo.”

 “No need to worry, Julian. You’re not Bond, I am.” Jadzia smirks as she slowly starts to unzip the bag, and Julian can see a hint of fine black cloth sticking out from the top. Garak really outdid himself this time. Jadzia glances up at him, a hint of challenge in her smile as though she expects Julian to argue with her. Like he doesn’t want to see Jadzia being badass in a nice suit.

 It does leave one question though.

 “Then whom am I playing?” Julian raises an eyebrow as the possibilities flash through his mind. The falcon? He normally reserves that for Miles, but he could probably bring some of his own flair to it. Maybe his own mentor? He could try imitating Sisko or Odo, though he’s not sure either would be too flattered by it.

 Jadzia’s smirk only widens as the door to the holosuite slides open and she steps into the doorway. Her smile grows wider as she starts to pull the black jacket out of the bag along with a crisp white button up, both of them precisely fit to her measurements no doubt. “Fennec Fox, a beautiful scientist for the Mob turned double agent.”

 “Well then, I hope you brought a skant along for me Wouldn’t want to be out of character.” Julian smirks playfully as he takes a few steps toward her. He breaks out into a full grin when Jadzia pulls out something short and slinky and _blue_ , shoulders cut just a bit too broad to be for her.

 Then his eyes widen as he realizes that Jadzia asked Garak to make _that_ for him and he opens his mouth to ask many questions he knows she won’t bother to answer.

* * *

 Garak stands by the comm pressing buttons in a pattern that’s quickly become mundane. So when he feels someone coming up behind him, he welcomes the change of pace even with the sense of dread he feels at this new presence. “Commander Dax? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

 “I wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Julian. He might not be sure where it’s going, but I think we both know that you do.” Jadzia’s voice is level, her gaze meeting his with a sudden wisdom that almost shocks him. Almost. It’s easy to forget, with her bright eyes and easy laugh, that Jadzia Dax has the knowledge of centuries within her. But Garak is Cardassian and he does not forget anything.

 “Is this what the federation colloquially calls a shovel talk? And here I thought I’d receive it from the Chief.” Garak smiles sharply even as he keeps his voice light, running his hand down the side of the comm and wishing he had a bolt of silk or Andorrian wool instead.

 “We both know his wouldn’t be as good as mine.” Jadzia shrugs with a confident smile, the kind that’s so open and warm that Garak almost understands why Julian tricked himself into thinking he was in love with her. “Be kind and be careful. Julian’s not in a good place right now - I know you know that better than anyone - and if this isn’t serious for you, you need to get out now. It’s serious for him.”

 Garak gazes at her with more honesty than he strictly likes, the tension in the room changing to an understanding of sorts. They both care deeply for the same man and are trying to protect him, in their own way. And Garak certainly can’t blame the commander for her concern when he has the same ones. “Believe me when I say that I’ve always taken the good doctor seriously.”

 “You better. Good night, Garak.” Jadzia’s voice is deadly serious for a moment, gaze like a warning sign. Then her more familiar smile returns, bright and easy as she walks across the helm of the Defiant to stand next to Captain Sisko.

 He thinks they could have been very good friends in another life.

* * *

 Julian doesn’t normally approve of hacking codes to people’s room unless it’s to save them from their own _terrible_ choices, but he makes an exception this time as he slides through Jadzia’s door. It’s not everyday one of your best friends gets married after all.

 “Julian, what are you doing here! It’s almost time for the ceremony.” Jadzia smiles brightly at him, any of the earlier pre-wedding upset caused by joining the family of Martok apparently replaced with a joy that radiates throughout the room. It he wasn’t so hungry, Julian thinks it would be infectious.

 Julian grins as he sweeps across her quarters, smiling softly as he takes the sight of his friend in and feels something twist in his gut. Jadzia looks beautiful, dressed in a rich red and made up to look at once like some kind of goddess and a warrior. It was truly Klingon, but it’s also Jadzia. Radiant and beautiful, the kind of fire that warms more than burns. “Oh, I’m aware. Did you think I’d miss the chance to congratulate you on your wedding day in person?”

 “I thought you would’ve been too hungry to.” Jadzia laughs as she leans back against her dresser, a few strands of hair falling out place from the elaborate braids piled on top of her head. Julian grins, her joy apparently overcoming even the gnawing pain in his stomach.

 “Oh, I assure you, I am considering eating your jewelry as we speak. But - you’re happy, Jadzia?” Julian asks the last part with an earnestness that almost surprises even him. He knows how much Jadzia loved - and maybe even a little bit still loves - Lenara Kahn.

 Julian also knows that Worf can’t be any easier of a man to live with than Garak or himself, whereas he can’t imagine anyone easier to live with than Jadzia. It’s almost funny, how much happier he wants her to be now that he no longer _wants_ her, but instead has her in a way that’s so much meaningful than his embarrassing crush could have been.

 Jadzia almost seems to read his thoughts, smile patient and bemused, though there’s a touch of warmth in her gaze as well. She reaches her hand out and places it on top of his, squeezing his hand softly. “Of course I am. I really do love Worf.”

 “I’m glad, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back in line with the other starving men before someone notices I’m missing.” Julian tells her as a rush of acceptance and relief goes through him. He doesn’t need to worry about Jadzia. He probably never did.

 Julian brushes his hand over her cheek, smile brimming with affection as he squeezes her other hand. Then he lets go and takes a few steps toward the door only to instinctively dart his hand out when he sees something flying through the air.

 Julian glances down at his palm to find himself holding an apple. He glances up at Jadzia and takes a ridiculously large bite of it as he steps out the door, the sweet juice spreading over his tongue. Jadzia’s ringing laughter is what sustains him until after the ceremony though. He can suffer if it means his friend will be happy on her wedding day.

* * *

 Garak doesn’t hear about Jadzia’s death for several hours, Major Kira telling him the news in an empty voice. Garak thanks her and walks to his quarters on autopilot, legs carrying him without his mind being aware of it until he’s standing next to Julian. Julian, whose wearing his pajamas but not sleeping, not even moving to acknowledge his presence. 

 “I heard about Jadzia.” Garak’s voice is plain as he comes to stand next to Julian’s shuddering frame. He walks around until he’s facing Julian and can see the tear marks down his face. Right now there are none, expression somehow at once empty and devastated. Garak brings up a hand and rests it against Julian’s cheek, gently cupping his jaw. “She loved you very much, you know.”

 Julian nods and then bristles, spine so rod straight that Garak thinks it might snap in half. He doesn’t pull away from Garak though, so he brings his other hand to rest on Julian’s shoulder blade. When he speaks his voice is watery and angry at the same time. “I couldn’t save her. I tried so hard but I - couldn’t.”

 “No, you couldn’t.” Garak doesn’t try and argue that Julian did his best or that Jadzia would have wanted him to save the Dax above all else. He knows Julian won’t be able to hear any of that right now. Instead he settles for squeezing his shoulder and pulling him a bit closer to his chest.

 “You should - I want to be alone right now.” Julian murmurs softly in a tone that makes it clear he _doesn’t,_ voice defeated and tired. His hands are shaking again as they come to press against Garak’s chest.

 Garak meets his gaze steadily and decides to skip the sweet lies or platitudes he could turn to right now. Julian would know them too well by now. “ _Should_ you be alone?”

 “Probably not.” Julian admits as he collapses forwards, Garak catching him just in time to keep him from crashing into their end table. Julian is boneless in his arms as he half carries him to their bed. Julian curls into his side, body shaking and gaze heavy with a mixture of guilt and fear and a loneliness that hasn’t been there since the Defiant. “I have no idea what I’m going to do without her. She was my first friend, you know. Before Miles and before I quite trusted you - she was my friend.”

 “My dear.” Garak murmurs softly into his ears as he wraps his arms around him. It only takes a few seconds before the sound of soft sobbing fills the air, Julian’s body shaking in his arms as he presses kisses along his forehead

  
 Garak makes no promises. Not now that the Dominion - That _Dukat_ has taken one of their own from them.

**Author's Note:**

> Gah I was so sad when i knew I would have to get here. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are loved and welcomed!


End file.
